Love is a free choice

Love is a choice, not a feeling or an emotion. It’s a decision you make every day of your life. The truth is about love you either made it happen or you allowed it to happen. Now, you're free because either way, the situation is in your control. 

Contrary to popular opinion, love is not accidental, incidental, or happenstance. It isn't random, arbitrary, or evolutionary. It happens by the sheer force of two independent wills focused in the same direction. It happens because the two people involved wanted it to happen, and have usually expended considerable effort to make sure that it did happen. Love is not a hole in the sidewalk waiting for you to blindly fall into it. Love is the by product of mental and physical time and effort deliberately put forth to create and continue feelings of infatuation and romance.

We've all seen the situations where people have gotten involved in emotional and/or physical intimacies with someone they were "just friends" with.  The facts are that these relationships never just happen. They occur after days, weeks, and months of finding big and small ways to perpetuate the ectasy of illicit attraction.

That fact alone begs the question, is it really love you've created? You might think it is. Your partner may even agree. The truth is you've created a fantasy that can only survive in the bubble of the manipulated realities you've invented. That's why the magic dies under the stresses and strains of real life. No longer able to shield your "love" from the side effects and consequences of real life, you usually soon find that your "love" fades.