In Your Heart, Where I Belong

In Your Heart, Where I Belong

I tried to make a house a home

in less than four weeks, 

Love is what everyone seeks.

I waited for you till hours

seemed like they would never end,

it all seems silly now how long it

takes a broken heart to really mend.

I once called out your name

to hear nothing after, 

I call out your name now and

hear your remarkable laughter.

Before you, I tried to show

people who I really am,

the harder I tried, the more I found

that no one gave a damn.

I have put on so many masks

for so many people so they could see 

what they wanted to see,

I did this for so long I forgot what it 

was like to even really be the real me.

My soul has been hurt but not yet broken, 

my heart been cold but not yet frozen.

I once tried to make a house a home, only to find,

that it is only a state of mind.

I have now come to realize

that my Home is in your heart,

and from here I hope and pray to never apart.

Life has many mistakes, twists and turns along the way, 

I pray you know just how important you are to me someday.

To my beautiful wife! 

from your faithful husband, Michael.

I have searched for you from the desert to the sea`s shore, 

in my heart you`ll be ... forever more.

written by Michael Parker 
6-27-2015 1:30 pm

Depressed

"Depressed" 

There's a flicker of faith that is slowly fading from my eyes, 

my soul has been tortured from all of this world's lies. 

The fork in the middle of the road isn't even a choice anymore, 

I sit and wonder what this life of pain has been really for.

I walk in the darkness while shadows follow me close behind, 

at times I feel as if I'm loosing my mind, 

happiness I suppose is never meant for me to find. 

In your absence I silently scream, 

hoping all of this misfortune has been nothing more than a dream. 

Music once filled my heart with such happiness, 

now the only tune I hear is filled with so much sadness. 

Loneliness can cut you so deeply to the bone, 

sitting in silence I wonder where I went wrong, 

screaming inside I'm yelling,"where has love gone," 

living my life like the lyrics of the worlds saddest song.

 2:00 p.m. 

3-28-13

Michael Parker

Last Smoke

I walked outside to have my last smoke for the night, 

all the stars were twinkleing, not a cloud in sight. 

Been sober for a while now and it finaly hit me, 

how all my drinkin realy came to be, 

it's always been your memory that would never let me be free. 

Thirteen years ago now that we've been apart, 
it's a shame how you left me like a thief in the night with my heart.

After all these years and my broken heart mends, 

after the drinkin and hopelessness ends, 

is when happiness and healing begins,

hopefully with a little help from my family and friends.

Just like all the stars way up there in the sky, 

I can finally put your memory away and say goodbye. 

As I turn to walk inside after my last smoke, 

I laugh out loud like I've herd some real funny joke, 

I fight back the tears as I silently choke. 

All of that money and time waisted on all of my drinkin, 

just to hide my soul that is slowly breakin, 

just to hide all of the pain from my heart stiill achein, 

please forgive me for all these pretend smiles in a life I've been fakein. 

10:33

 3/30/13 

 Michael Parker Jr.

A Time To Change

I may have picked you up from the airport when we first met, 
but you probably will never know that you actually picked me up abandoned on the side of the road as I watched another sunset.

I was pissing drunken circles in the road as you were making your way to me,
and the whole time I was singing to myself...
"that I was blind but now I see".

I have been abandoned, beat up, and left behind,
all the while I was believing there`s love out there for me to find.

I can remember back to the times
the devil asked me could my soul be sold, 
it sure was tempting through the pouring rain and freezing cold. 

Change has been hard for me because 
I know what it`s like to not have anyone and no place to go, 
always getting fake smiles and empty promises 
from everyone I use to know. 

Time and money have never meant 
anything to me as I watch it all pass by,
names of days and months seem to be one big lie.

As I look back on all I have ever been through, 
it was all worth it for me to be led to you.

I wish you could see how thankful I am by keeping me grounded as I struggle with what this life is for,
and all of your patience makes me love you that much more.

Now when things are bad you help me see the good, 
I was once a drifter and so misunderstood.

To everything there is a time for change,
even for me that looks at this world and thinks it`s so strange,
a time to fix the broken even though 
the pieces need to be rearranged. 

For me... a time for change 
has come and it`s all thanks to you,
some of our times have been tough 
but we have made it through, 
please hold on to my love for it`s 
faithful and true... 

This is just a little poem to remind you... 
that I will forever and always love you!!! 





written by Michael Parker 

The End

Another day of feeling beaten, battered and torn, 

its been this way since I was born.

Everything happens for a reason they say, 

then please explain to me why suicidal thoughts

are constant each and every day, 

death crowds my mind as love seems to pass away.

The demons in my head don`t fight fair, 

of every weakness I have... they are well aware,

they just don`t care, 

and they enter my mind from everywhere, 

as I live in one long nightmare.

It seems like there`s no one that can understand, 

I could really use a helping hand. 

The people who do understand has their own hands full, 

with the many demons that push and pull.

My depression pills don`t seem to keep them out of my mind, 

and I feel like this world has slowly left me behind.

It rains in my world every day, 

and suicide seems like my only way, 

to rid myself of the torture that comes both night and day. 

The people who do not understand... probably never will, 

untill it`s their own minds that the demons fill.

They are masters of sadness and pain, 

it`s even more than I can explain, as the hurt drives me insain.

I have often wondered what`s their purpose or even their goal, 

the only thing I can tell you for shore,

is that they are from a place called sheol,

and they dwell in my mind ... forever more.

When I die I ask you to please rejoice, 

because this place wasn`t for me... and I had no choice.

In the end, the end is the end,

I choose to suffer in silence no more my friend, 

remember that saying "dust to dust" as you  throw my ashes to the wind. 

all the rights reserve to Michael Parker

Love is All

One day we will all know God`s glory and power, 

He will call each and every one of us by name and no one knoweth the hour.

One day we will all realize the reason for all of our trials, tribulations and pain,

there will come a day that no one will have a reason to complain.

One day we will understand that the greatest achievement to obtain,

 the most valuable thing we can gain,

is the true purpose and meaning of LOVE and every or anything else ... is vain.

When ALL is Love and Love is ALL,

hatred, war, evil, depression and division shall surely fall.

One day there will be a quickening of all of our minds,

and there will be rejoicing everywhere from 

people of all races and kinds.

When God shows up in your life and 

touches you to the roots of your soul, 

you know in your heart that Love is each of our ultimate goal.

Copy rights reserve to Michael Parker 

Within

Even the butterfly yields to the mercy of the wind,

it causes even the strongest tree to bend.

I may be living but I`m no where alive,

every morning into a pool of misery  I dive.

What happened to the joy of feeling the wind apon my face,

Why do lovers get further apart with every embrace?

Everything in this world comes and goes, 

and in the end ... we die with the choices we`ve chose.

It is so hard to love when your entire being is filled with sadness,

it is so hard to live when your mind is so full with madness.

My soul is literally screaming inside,

wishing my body had already died,

wishing for a place I could just run and hide.

It`s sad to wake everyday and realise all of your nightmares are real,

it has become horrifying that sadness is the only emotion I can feel.

What happens when all of your joy and laughter are gone,

answer me that and you`ll know what I have always known.

I am constantly tortured some place within my own mind,

through all of the torture and pain, it is hard to smile or be kind.

I feel like I live in a world that has left me far behind,

and no one hears my screams from this prison of my own mind.

No war I have ever fought on the outside can compare to the battle within,

there is no  end and the battle rages on... again and again.

I am the butterfly that must yield to the wind, realizing that a simple flower is my only friend.

If the person reading this could trade places with me for just one night,

you too would forever scream at this battle I fight.

Its becoming impossible to live in a world which I dont fit in, 

as the battle rages on within.

I am in a time that the battle has turned to all-out war, 
and that the pieces of my soul are scattered among the ocean`s floor.

Please believe me when I say I am trapped in a prison within, 
and that it is an endless battle that I just can not win.

Copy Rights reserve to Michael Parker