When ?

When I`m gone.... will you listen to the wind? 

whom all is forsaken... with then be my friend? 

You lough at me and blow smoke in my face,

I have no reason, form nor reason, nor place, 

to call my home, 

all alone... and all meaning gone,

farewell to all of you I` have known.

There`s a sadness in my trying to be normal for you,

you have no idea what I daily go through.

The voices in my head tell me to die, 

and only God knows how barely  I get by.

Tempt me while standing on the edge of a knife,

tempt me and I `ll show you what I think of this life.

When I`m gone will you listen to the rain,

when I`m gone, will you understand the pain? 

when the thunder begins to break,

what kind of earthly possessions will you take? 

When lightening strikes and leaves you blind,

what is it that you`ll regret leaving behind? 

There`s such saddness in watching everyone strive for money,

they think they can carry it with them, and I find that sad yet funny.

When I`m gone will you listen as the traffic passes by, 

as mother earth begins to cry.

Michael Parker  12/16/2017 11:11pm 

I'm A Teardrop From Heaven

I'm nothing more than a teardrop that falls, 
that goes wherever it falls.  

I travel where emptiness calls, 

I'm a teardrop from heaven that falls. 

I make my way to where the lonely live, 

though I have nothing, hope to the homeless I give. 

I travel through this world alone, 
Until all that's withen me is gone.

 I'm consumed by the pain inside, 
and it has become more than I can hide.

 I fall endlessly to the ground, 
 leaving no impression nor sound. 

There is no one to see me fall from grace,
no one to understand my conflicting embrace. 

I dive into the darkness no one dares to go, 
I have no glitter nor glamour to give nor show. 

I'm a teardrop that falls in a desert of lost souls, I fall on the brightest of days, I fall in the darkest of holes.

I've fallen without end, 
I'm broken without mend,
I'm barely on the left side of heaven and the right side of hell, 
into endless sorrow, torture and pain I fell. 

I try and smile knowing death is my only friend, 
I'm nothing more than a teardrop from heaven. ...nearing its end. 

I tried to count my blessings on my way down, 
 and realized I'm nothing more than an emoji with a frown. 
I fall and no one even noticed me, 
and into nothingness I will become, be and see.

 MICHAEL 12/16/17 @8:30p.m.

Love Letter

Writing a love letter is harder than it seems,

it`s hard to describe the fulfillment of all your hopes and dreams.

It takes some will power and self esteem, 

to let the other part of your two person team,

Know exactly how much to you they mean, 

while nothing is hidden and all is seen.

The love letter will be written with tears and laughter,

and it will include a very happy ever-after.

Write about something sweet and something real, 

something to let them know just how you feel.

If you have trouble on where to start,

just write what`s written within your heart.

When the letter is full and coming to an ending,

remind them that it`s all of your love that you are sending.

Written by Michael Parker

The Pill

The Pill

For you, I `ll sit and write what I feel... as I take my daily depression pill... laugh at me and say what you will... because there`s a void inside I`m trying to fill ... as I sit alone and silently still... with an emptiness inside I`m trying to kill... from a disease that`s very real... that robs me of my very own free will... as if I`m climbing some unknown and treacherous hill... with no place to stop and rest until... I take another depression pill ... never knowing just where am I going... with a huge bag of misfortune I am towing ... as the void inside keeps on growing... trying to keep my burden from showing... as something inside  keep echoing. hold it all inside with no one knowing... as the painful tears just keep on flowing... I pray to God my soul to take.... and put an end to heartache... but until then I `ll take another depression pill... and try to hide the pain I feel... 

written by Michael Parker

Keep Breathing... You Are Not Alone

The Yesteryear's of your past may seem difficult and hard,

I am talking about the days that have left you beaten, broken and scarred.

Through the good and the bad keep your chin up and keep moving on,

continue breathing, laughing and crying until all your pain is gone.

When you are alone and feel like all is lost,

keep breathing, laughing and crying at any cost.

Sometimes, all the time, this world feels worth leaving, 

I promise you that the journey is worth it in the end,,, you just need to keep on breathing.

This poem is written for the ones who face daily the depression monster all alone, 

this is for all the ones who feel like all hope is gone,

the ones who constantly feel the pain and sadness cutting them to the bone... 

keep breathing, laughing and crying my friend... you are not alone.

If you or someone you know goes through depression almost every day,

please research the things to and not to say,

for the wrong words spoken can turn the situation a darker shade of grey.

Depression is an illness suffered in silence, 

suffered mostly in everyone`s absence.

They are warning signs but they can be hidden well, 

it feels almost impossible to escape your own minds self made hell.

To anyone out there contemplating suicide or thinking about dying, 

I beg you to keep on breathing, laughing and crying.

Get involved and let this disease be known, 

and whatever you do... keep breathing, 

laughing, crying and moving on, 

because this world is better with you in it... than gone.

written by Michael Parker

The Stranger

The Stranger

As the tears roll down my face,

this world makes me feel like a stranger in an awful place.

There is a sense of disgust when you realise there is more hidden than can be seen,

look past the lies we have been fed and you will see what I mean. 

For an unknown savoir we all sit and wait, 

as everyone turns a blind eye to the increasing suicide rate.

Notice the homeless and starving and notice them soon, 

before they horde  more wealth with another fake trip to the moon.

People all around are crying and dying,

as the wicked sit in high places greedy and lying.

This is a place where people are cattle and money is king,

while across the radio Millionaires sing.

It is heartbreaking to see people holding up "will work for food" signs, 

as the police round them up and give them tickets and fines.

As billions are being spent on a fake trip to Mars, 

there`s helpless and homeless sleeping under only the stars,

Computers, cell phones and the latest technology has everyone`s attention, 

with wickedness among the websites that I`d rather not mention.

Cheating, sexting and texting are among the latest fad,

real conversations are a thing of the past and something we long ago had.

This paper and pen is my only outlet and voice,

while social media is everyone else`s choice.

There is so much more in this poem I would like to have said,

but all the truths I have unveiled make me wish I were dead.

I`m just a stranger in a strange land,

with nothing more than pen and paper in hand.

I am nothing more than what you see,

and a stranger to this world I will always be.

Written by: Michael Parker  

In Your Heart, Where I Belong

In Your Heart, Where I Belong

I tried to make a house a home

in less than four weeks, 

Love is what everyone seeks.

I waited for you till hours

seemed like they would never end,

it all seems silly now how long it

takes a broken heart to really mend.

I once called out your name

to hear nothing after, 

I call out your name now and

hear your remarkable laughter.

Before you, I tried to show

people who I really am,

the harder I tried, the more I found

that no one gave a damn.

I have put on so many masks

for so many people so they could see 

what they wanted to see,

I did this for so long I forgot what it 

was like to even really be the real me.

My soul has been hurt but not yet broken, 

my heart been cold but not yet frozen.

I once tried to make a house a home, only to find,

that it is only a state of mind.

I have now come to realize

that my Home is in your heart,

and from here I hope and pray to never apart.

Life has many mistakes, twists and turns along the way, 

I pray you know just how important you are to me someday.

To my beautiful wife! 

from your faithful husband, Michael.

I have searched for you from the desert to the sea`s shore, 

in my heart you`ll be ... forever more.

written by Michael Parker 
6-27-2015 1:30 pm

Depressed

"Depressed" 

There's a flicker of faith that is slowly fading from my eyes, 

my soul has been tortured from all of this world's lies. 

The fork in the middle of the road isn't even a choice anymore, 

I sit and wonder what this life of pain has been really for.

I walk in the darkness while shadows follow me close behind, 

at times I feel as if I'm loosing my mind, 

happiness I suppose is never meant for me to find. 

In your absence I silently scream, 

hoping all of this misfortune has been nothing more than a dream. 

Music once filled my heart with such happiness, 

now the only tune I hear is filled with so much sadness. 

Loneliness can cut you so deeply to the bone, 

sitting in silence I wonder where I went wrong, 

screaming inside I'm yelling,"where has love gone," 

living my life like the lyrics of the worlds saddest song.

 2:00 p.m. 

3-28-13

Michael Parker

Last Smoke

I walked outside to have my last smoke for the night, 

all the stars were twinkleing, not a cloud in sight. 

Been sober for a while now and it finaly hit me, 

how all my drinkin realy came to be, 

it's always been your memory that would never let me be free. 

Thirteen years ago now that we've been apart, 
it's a shame how you left me like a thief in the night with my heart.

After all these years and my broken heart mends, 

after the drinkin and hopelessness ends, 

is when happiness and healing begins,

hopefully with a little help from my family and friends.

Just like all the stars way up there in the sky, 

I can finally put your memory away and say goodbye. 

As I turn to walk inside after my last smoke, 

I laugh out loud like I've herd some real funny joke, 

I fight back the tears as I silently choke. 

All of that money and time waisted on all of my drinkin, 

just to hide my soul that is slowly breakin, 

just to hide all of the pain from my heart stiill achein, 

please forgive me for all these pretend smiles in a life I've been fakein. 

10:33

 3/30/13 

 Michael Parker Jr.

A Time To Change

I may have picked you up from the airport when we first met, 
but you probably will never know that you actually picked me up abandoned on the side of the road as I watched another sunset.

I was pissing drunken circles in the road as you were making your way to me,
and the whole time I was singing to myself...
"that I was blind but now I see".

I have been abandoned, beat up, and left behind,
all the while I was believing there`s love out there for me to find.

I can remember back to the times
the devil asked me could my soul be sold, 
it sure was tempting through the pouring rain and freezing cold. 

Change has been hard for me because 
I know what it`s like to not have anyone and no place to go, 
always getting fake smiles and empty promises 
from everyone I use to know. 

Time and money have never meant 
anything to me as I watch it all pass by,
names of days and months seem to be one big lie.

As I look back on all I have ever been through, 
it was all worth it for me to be led to you.

I wish you could see how thankful I am by keeping me grounded as I struggle with what this life is for,
and all of your patience makes me love you that much more.

Now when things are bad you help me see the good, 
I was once a drifter and so misunderstood.

To everything there is a time for change,
even for me that looks at this world and thinks it`s so strange,
a time to fix the broken even though 
the pieces need to be rearranged. 

For me... a time for change 
has come and it`s all thanks to you,
some of our times have been tough 
but we have made it through, 
please hold on to my love for it`s 
faithful and true... 

This is just a little poem to remind you... 
that I will forever and always love you!!! 





written by Michael Parker 

The End

Another day of feeling beaten, battered and torn, 

its been this way since I was born.

Everything happens for a reason they say, 

then please explain to me why suicidal thoughts

are constant each and every day, 

death crowds my mind as love seems to pass away.

The demons in my head don`t fight fair, 

of every weakness I have... they are well aware,

they just don`t care, 

and they enter my mind from everywhere, 

as I live in one long nightmare.

It seems like there`s no one that can understand, 

I could really use a helping hand. 

The people who do understand has their own hands full, 

with the many demons that push and pull.

My depression pills don`t seem to keep them out of my mind, 

and I feel like this world has slowly left me behind.

It rains in my world every day, 

and suicide seems like my only way, 

to rid myself of the torture that comes both night and day. 

The people who do not understand... probably never will, 

untill it`s their own minds that the demons fill.

They are masters of sadness and pain, 

it`s even more than I can explain, as the hurt drives me insain.

I have often wondered what`s their purpose or even their goal, 

the only thing I can tell you for shore,

is that they are from a place called sheol,

and they dwell in my mind ... forever more.

When I die I ask you to please rejoice, 

because this place wasn`t for me... and I had no choice.

In the end, the end is the end,

I choose to suffer in silence no more my friend, 

remember that saying "dust to dust" as you  throw my ashes to the wind. 

all the rights reserve to Michael Parker

Love is All

One day we will all know God`s glory and power, 

He will call each and every one of us by name and no one knoweth the hour.

One day we will all realize the reason for all of our trials, tribulations and pain,

there will come a day that no one will have a reason to complain.

One day we will understand that the greatest achievement to obtain,

 the most valuable thing we can gain,

is the true purpose and meaning of LOVE and every or anything else ... is vain.

When ALL is Love and Love is ALL,

hatred, war, evil, depression and division shall surely fall.

One day there will be a quickening of all of our minds,

and there will be rejoicing everywhere from 

people of all races and kinds.

When God shows up in your life and 

touches you to the roots of your soul, 

you know in your heart that Love is each of our ultimate goal.

Copy rights reserve to Michael Parker 

Within

Even the butterfly yields to the mercy of the wind,

it causes even the strongest tree to bend.

I may be living but I`m no where alive,

every morning into a pool of misery  I dive.

What happened to the joy of feeling the wind apon my face,

Why do lovers get further apart with every embrace?

Everything in this world comes and goes, 

and in the end ... we die with the choices we`ve chose.

It is so hard to love when your entire being is filled with sadness,

it is so hard to live when your mind is so full with madness.

My soul is literally screaming inside,

wishing my body had already died,

wishing for a place I could just run and hide.

It`s sad to wake everyday and realise all of your nightmares are real,

it has become horrifying that sadness is the only emotion I can feel.

What happens when all of your joy and laughter are gone,

answer me that and you`ll know what I have always known.

I am constantly tortured some place within my own mind,

through all of the torture and pain, it is hard to smile or be kind.

I feel like I live in a world that has left me far behind,

and no one hears my screams from this prison of my own mind.

No war I have ever fought on the outside can compare to the battle within,

there is no  end and the battle rages on... again and again.

I am the butterfly that must yield to the wind, realizing that a simple flower is my only friend.

If the person reading this could trade places with me for just one night,

you too would forever scream at this battle I fight.

Its becoming impossible to live in a world which I dont fit in, 

as the battle rages on within.

I am in a time that the battle has turned to all-out war, 
and that the pieces of my soul are scattered among the ocean`s floor.

Please believe me when I say I am trapped in a prison within, 
and that it is an endless battle that I just can not win.

Copy Rights reserve to Michael Parker 

Dancing in the Rain

Love conquers All

"The only person I had to look up to growing up, was always looking down on everyone else... and putting me down at every corner I turned." 

There is a woman that lives in a far away land, 

I have had her in my dreams with both of us together... hand in hand.

In my dreams she wears a white dress and a beautiful smile, 

I long to her close to me for a long while.

She has so much life and spirit inside of her as I gaze in to her beautiful brown eyes, 

as I woke from my dream, this beautiful woman is my destiny is what I realize.

As I woke I know that I knew her name, and I wondered how she could ever love  a man so covered and filled with shame.

I had never fell in love from afar, oh how every day I would wonder how you are, what you were doing, or what was on your mind.

I struggled with ways of telling you just how often I had wanted to leave this awful world so far behind.

Even tough there where thousands of miles that kept us apart, 

you were constantly on my mind and embedded with love... deep within my heart. 

I asked you to come and make memories for all the rest of our days, you agreed happily without any delays, almost 3 years and 3 months together and your smile blocks out even the sun`s rays.

There are no words that exist for what I feel for you my beautiful Eden, thank you for standing beside me even though I had times where my mind was broken and beaten. 

Threw you I have learned what it means to have been loved and to love, you are nothing less to me than a gift from heaven above,

Threw the nightmares I`ve lived throughout my life, 

you have become the light that shines among the darkness my heavenly wife.

I have lived my entire life fearless of death... but now I have become horrified of never together sharing another breath. 

I want you to know that I would live a thousand lives in torture and pain, 

just to be able to have one more dance with you in the rain.

written by Michael Parker 

The Hurt

There is a yearning within us all,
Yes,sometimes we stumble and yes,sometimes we fall,
just dust yourself off and please stand tall,
please remember, we're only human after all. 
There's a yearning for things we long to hold,
there's a yearning for things that can't be bought nor sold.
"Some things can only be loved from afar," I say,
I wish it weren't so... but sometimes, it's the only way.

written by Michael E. Parker

Remember Me

Remember Me 

Remember me when the evening 

sun is sinking, 

remember me in the morning when it`s your first cup

of coffee you are drinking.

Remember me when you feel the four winds blow, 

remember when you travel to and fro.

Remember when the nightfall comes and goes, 

remember me like no one else knows.

Remember me when the moon and star light

the night,

remember me when you question all the things that are 

wrong or right.

Remember me when the silence seems more

than you can bare,

remember me when this life seems more

than you can bare,

remember me when this life seems unfair,

remember me when you have lost your strength to care.

Remember me when you start a new day,

remember me when you feel like falling apart in every way.

Remember me when you look up and see an

unforgettable sky,

remember me and my dream that I was born to fly.

Remember me when your heart is heavy and 

the world outside seems so unkind, 

remember me in every new thing you find.

Remember me and all the dreams we wanted to fullfill, 

remember me please.... cause no one else will. 

Remember me with Love,

remember me because I`m waiting on you in heaven above.

written by Micha-EL Parker 1/24/17   2:00 pm

Born to Die .... Born to Fly

Born to Die .... Born to Fly 

We are born into a world where we slowly die.

I have a conflicting side of me telling me that we were born to be so much more.

Sometimes I feel like I was born to fly,

to be way up high... among the clouds and soar.

We are born with chains shackled to our 

ankles binding us to this earth,

our wings were clipped by a stack of numbered 

paperwork since birth.

I now see that we are nothing more than numbered 

slaves-filled with only struggle and strife, 

we are all led to believe that there`s no meaning to this 

thing we all call life.

This world teaches that we can live without 

God, but not without money,

that forces me to ask you all 

"Who or what is your real enemy? " 

I am no longer hopeful nor hopeless for things in 

this world to change, 

I just find it hard to believe that no one else finds all the 

deceptions and lies we are fed... very strange.

We have all been spoon fed everything we think we know, 

for no other reason than to keep us all as willing participants in

this grand illusionary slave driven show.

My body may have been born to die, 

but my soul was born to fly. 

written by Michael Parker Jr.

The Hero Lies inside of you

I love this song very much, and have a lot of truth inside. We must know that the strength is Inside of each of Us... and its not only in songs its in reality. I hope you will try it. I believe that we are creating our own reality and the power is in Us. please listen to the words and try to adopt it to your mind.

There's a hero

If you look inside your heart

You don't have to be afraid

Of what you are

There's an answer

If you reach into your soul

And the sorrow that you know

Will melt away

And then a hero comes along

With the strength to carry on

And you cast your fears aside

And you know you can survive

So when you feel like hope is gone

Look inside you and be strong

And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

It's a long road

When you face the world alone

No one reaches out a hand

For you to hold

You can find love

If you search within yourself

And the emptiness you felt

Will disappear